my dads renovating his kitchen and he called me out of my room to help him but when i came out
so i called him and
IM PSSING MYSELF HES JUST CHILLING IN THE ROOF HE DIDNT EVEN NEED MY HELP OMFG
Today I was doing an online math problem for my algebra class and one of the questions started out “Josephine baked 36 cookies” and all I could think was
no josephine did not bake any cookies
josephine doesn’t turn on the heat
josephine is afraid the oven will catch fire and burn the whole house down
josephine is terrified of realtors, for god’s sake
i just want a kitten that will love me and only me is that do much to ask?
- don’t pretend to like me if you don’t
- don’t pretend to be my friend if you don’t like me
- don’t pretend you miss me if you don’t
Have you met Miss Jones?
Philophobia is the fear of emotional attachment that often leads to expectations that end in disappointment.
here is a collection of smiling elephants
I needed this today.
3 hours later. 😍😍
I hope Sherlock season 3 episode one begins with Sherlock appearing to John and being like “I’m home, John. I’m alive. Take me into your arms.” and then John’s just like “Sherlock… it’s been too long. I’ve moved on. I’ve found someone else… someone better…” and then Elementary’s Sherlock emerges from the kitchen with two glasses of red wine and begins to laugh hysterically
oH MY GOD NO MY DAD CAME IN TO ASK ME SOMETHING BUT HE SAW THIS AND GAVE ME A WEIRD LOOK AND QUICKLY LEFT AND NO DAD I’M NOT MASTURBATING TO BENEDICT OH MY GOD WHY THE HELL WOULD HE COME TO THAT CONCLUSION
I JUST TALKED TO MY DAD AND ACTUALLY HE THOUGHT I WAS USING THE TISSUES TO COVER MY HANDS AS I STROKED BENEDICT’S FACE SO I WOULDN’T DIRTY THE PICTURE
HOW IS THAT A PLAUSIBLE CONCLUSION TO HIM HOW
please god no
this was never meant to get notes
This is perfection.